I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
