Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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