Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
