well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The power of my boobs compel you
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
