I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
