Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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