To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
