i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
