I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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