I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
