so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
