peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
