Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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