When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
