At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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