So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
