Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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