Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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