sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
