im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
