Buhtt sex?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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