I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
