he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
