what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
