we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
