I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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