You're my little dorito
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
