We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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