Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize