just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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