No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
