my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
