i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
