Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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