"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize