like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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