If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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