My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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