its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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