Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
