we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
