i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
