Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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