She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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