So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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