You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
