In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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