$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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