he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can I color on your dick again?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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