If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
