So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
