You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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