I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
