I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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