help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
