I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
