yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
