I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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