At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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