If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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