I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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